When Your Good is Not Good Enough

it's been ages i don't write any post and whenever i do i came up with trashy-cheesy stories.

and now too.

i don't even know what to write tho. this semester wrecked me up -- my life is a mess -- should've sums up my whole story. it's 21.35 pm i should be doin assignments by now but.

but.

i know this time too, shall pass.

Kemana

"Biarkan mengalir apa adanya, biarkan dirimu terbawa arus, kelak kamu akan menemukan jawabannya"

Dan sampai sekarang kamu masih tersesat? Masih membiarkan dirimu terbawa arus? Mengalir begitu saja? Masih belum tau mau kemana? Masih belum tau hendak menjadi apa?

Kebacut  kamu.

Yang terlewatkan

Kesempatan cuma datang sekali.

Dan sekalinya dikasih kesempatan yang sama, lagi (dan mungkin lagi), nggak semua orang menyadarinya, nggak semua orang memanfaatkannya dengan semestinya.
Lalu menyesal.
Kan.

Lagi pingen cheesecake shang ri la tapi uangku sudah mepet

Kamu tau nggak? Kita itu seperti puzzle. Kamu puzzle di bagian sana, aku puzzle di bagian sini. Kita berusaha keras supaya klik, tapi pola kita berbeda. Yep.

Because the wheels are round and swirl and twirl, dear

And things won't go exactly the way it was.

So i'm wondering about things i decided on. And i just realized that, i should be thankful for all i had, that whatever the choices i made, just do it gladly so even if it was a wrong path, you will have no regret for choosing it later. And when someday you do regret choices you made, just be thankful for what you have, and been through. Praise yourself for passed it through because you're still alive anyway. Don't count stars on sky because while you do, some worth things might just get bored for waiting over you.

It happens again.

Yep i knew i shouldn't took my feelings up now that my heart sink again, ha! Sometimes i thought i have such sensitive issues. And other times i thought it's that you who had the issue. So can we just repeat it over and not having those silly acts. *slowly drowning myself into a deep*

Seharusnya ini adalah hal yang mudah

Mencintai dan dicintai.

Dalam berbagai aspek, memangnya sejak kapan mencintai dan dicintai menjadi hal yang begitu rumit. Iya, ini pertanyaan retoris dan saya nggak butuh tanda tanya tertera di belakangnya.

Do not judge a book by its cover

Pernah dengar kalimat itu?

Pada kenyataannya, acapkali kover digunakan sebagai patokan isi buku tersebut. Tidak dapat dipungkiri memang, dan saya juga tidak jarang melakukan hal yang sama.

Dan pernahkah anda berpikir; dalam praktiknya, manusia juga sama saja. Membuat patokan dengan apa yang mereka lihat. Pada umumnya manusia hanya mempercayai apa yang ada di depan mereka-- tidak terkecuali saya. Dan seolah melihat refleksi diri, saya mencoba melihat lebih dekat. Lebih dalam. Pendek kata, apa yang kita lihat belum tentu sama dengan apa yang kita rasa. Apa yang ada di luar belum tentu sama dengan yang ada di dalam. Donat kentang dan donat keju mungkin terlihat sama dari luar, tetapi coba cuil sedikit donat kentang, mungkin ada selai stroberi di dalamnya. Saya tahu saya bukan seseorang yang pintar dalam menggunakan perbandingan. Faktanya saya juga tidak begitu suka dengan donat.

Saya kurang mengerti dengan judgement "wah anak itu kok ngerokok ya, padahal wajahnya alim lo" atau "ya ampun, anak itu cantik banget. Eh tapi kok jalannya agak mekangkang sih, gak cocok ah". Saya tahu itu adalah jenis komentar yang dilontarkan secara impulsif. Bisa jadi statemen tersebut adalah sebuah fakta. Namun bagaimana bila itu hanya opini, hanya perkataan yang tahu-tahu keluar begitu saja dari mulut. Bagian yang menyebalkan adalah, ketika kesan itu menjadi sebuah stereotip dan lingkungan berbalik memunggungi mereka. Ayolah.

Been a while, Hai :D

Kamu tahu? Aku sedikit cinta hari ini
Meski ujian nggak berjalan selancar yang kukira
Meski hari ini aku nggak ketemu dia
Meski laptop harus kuservis sampai besok
Meski tugas menumpuk menunggu diselesaikan
Dan semuanya nyaris. Nyaris
Menguap karena kuning langit senja menyentuh atap rumah
Meski bukan semburat merah apel favoritku
Atau langit yang berwarna ungu tua
Menguap karena hari ini awan sembunyi dan bintang-bintang tak lagi ansos
Dan bulan yang tertawa
Meski langit ungu kelabu, meski bukan nila atau biru dongker
Meski jemuran belum juga diangkat sejak kemarin lusa
Meski hari ini tabungan lagi-lagi berkurang
Meski hari ini juga mulut tak lagi mendapat kesempatan buat mengecap smoothies walls buavita
Tapi aku bersyukur masih diberi kesempatan mencicipi embun pagi tadi, mocha float kfc, dan kehidupan.
Dan sms ibu dan bapak.

Menyakinkan diri

I chose the right path, don't I? :)

Aria, volume 12

"Ya.

Sayang bila kesenangan saat ini hilang,
karena kita terpaku pada kesenangan masa lalu.

Jadi bukan hanya 'saat itu' yang menyenangkan,
tapi juga 'saat ini'...

Ya.

Hal yang menyenangkan itu
bukan untuk diperbandingkan.

Ah, satu nasihat.

Hal yang kini kita rasa menyenangkan
hanya bisa kita nikmati sepenuhnya saat ini.

Karena itu, hargailah setiap momen indah
dan waktu saat ini"



...why worry? Just keep on walking, stay in path :)

Random post and random people

Ollaaaaa long time no see, evi desu :D

Sooo, just wanna share another random moment. Here the story goes jengjengjeeeng

I have stranger-friend. Partially. He had lived abroad since 3 so he can't speak bahasa fluently. Well, its not that he can't. He won't. He doesn't care. Yet everyone pick attention to him (absolutely -_-). But he does know bahasa. He loves to complain about everything, grumble over the things. In english. And no wonder I like to hear the stuffs . Not sure if the real geek is he, or me. But it's funny enough to hear ha ha =.=

Aaand, we had a chat yesterday
Le friend: phe nggak ke kelas a?
Le me: ayo! Aku belum belajar buat presentasi nih
Le half-stranger friend: ow, I'd had a presentation too
Le me: oh ya? Kamu presentasi pake bahasa apa? English?
Le half-stranger friend: of course!
Le me: you kiddin me rite?
Le half-stranger friend: yes I'll use english for my presentation lah blah blah blah asdfghjkl
Le me: bule freak -_____-

Well, I do hope he'll survive through the things lol

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Gang keputih 1c, notok, cat oren, kamar angka keramat *hanya mitos*

Ola, Evi desu :3

Oke, mulai beberapa hari yang lalu Evi resmi jadi anak kos.
Dan dunia harus tau!! HUAHAHAHAHAA *ketawa ala pahlawan bertopeng*

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What?

Halo, ini aku lagi.
Oke, aku lagi sedih. Pake banget.

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There's a new mail for youuu

Pinky promise should be replaced by bluish promise. It gives you pretty clear purpose: to bring you to a blue-life.
See, at least it doesnt deceive you from the very start.

...just saying. Haha.

Ps. If you checked out your email, you'll find smthing. But please, do it asap (hell yes, it's a telepathy, can't help it, what else did you wish for?)

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Jatuh

Aku terlalu familiar denganmu. Terlalu mengenal sosokmu, pun siluetmu.

Seperti angin menghembus daun pada gugurnya, semudah itu aku dapat mengenalimu di keramaian, pun di keremangan senja.

Ini berbahaya, terlalu berbahaya. Sudahlah, jangan mendorongku semakin ke dasar, pun jangan menarikku.

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You describe my feelings

falling into the asphalt

by *Pink-Promise

I am the city you said,
And I was every city light
Every fashion show every red carpet
And the flash lightning of every camera

You told me I was the city, so I took your hand
And never looked back, I ran through the streets
With you at my heels, laughing, smiling, living

I am the city you said, and I carved highways---;
and i blew kisses to the wind, filled the streets with seethingly fast asphalt,
everywhere i stepped, bridges waltzed apart.

You were the lights and sounds, to my cityscape
flashing and blinking against my skyscrapers;;
we melded together forming a nothingness of bliss
my city with your noises and radiance, while you shield
away the darkness.

but as this brightness grows darker and these light wingers grow heavier,
you eyes seem to be tainted with uncertainty that makes me think;
there is traffic, confusion, indecision in your sweet words and cherry pavements
you never notice that you always hold me with your right hand
but your heart; it is beating on the left side.

Once the brightness leaves the only thing left for me to do
Is to be consumed by the darkness, and hope for you to pull me back out
Your hesitation leaves me with despair
Hold me close, keep me near
I need you now more than ever for never

I'm living in this city, and my heart beats with the center of the city
ten million people living in the same city, riding the same subway in the morning and back at four o'clock rush hour,
the same people descending the same stairs
the same people boarding the same train

I'm living in this city without you at my side
Seeing you on the streets without you really there
I see your eyes and your smile on the faces of strangers
Hoping they're you, even though I know you're miles away

sometimes i think, they are all just dice and numbers and letters, thrown at random and mixed and scrambled so that it looks different every time. that it's the same people sitting opposite me, with the same sad faces and the same dark circles beneath their eyes, that it's all the same.

You make me think of all the possibilities that can't come true
All the reasons to live, to hope, to smile, to laugh
Without even saying something you fuel me indefinitely

So now tell me, why does everything I say seem cliché
And in every way that you hurt me with your wordplay
i am still here, hoping for another day
[there's nothing new under the sun]

your hair is untangling itself from my desperate grasp
your words are unscrambling themselves to form a passionate four letter word which starts 'H'
I can feel your breath growing calmer
Valentine's red is growing fader

your smiles are never shown to me again
our memories are woven together as one
but they are leaking through our heartbeats
falling falling falling onto the asphalt
and drowning in our tears

Wasted things are just the same afterall

Seandainya sampah punya perasaan, seandainya tisu sekali pakai punya perasaan, seandainya remah-remah penghapus punya perasaan..

Kamu bisa mati dihantui perasaan bersalah.

Setidaknya, dalam kehidupan nyata, kamu cuma perlu berurusan dengan perasaan orang yang pernah kamu buang. Setidaknya, Tuhan tidak pernah menambah bebanmu. Bersyukurlah.

Cuplikan Puisi Tomat

and you thought the fireflies
that flew into your eyes formed a dream,
the one you kept guessing the meaning of.


but in time you will know,
whenever a firefly lands on a petal of your cheeks
that very moment it is I whom you think of.

Can I read your mind?

Jadi, beritahu aku, dalam skala 1 sampai dengan 10, berapa kalikah aku melintas di pikiranmu, setiap jengkal tiga puluh menit, dalam satu hari?

Jadi, beritahu aku, dalam skala 1 sampai dengan 10, berapa kalikah kau ingin memelukku, setiap jengkal tiga puluh menit, dalam satu hari?

Jadi, beritahu aku, dalam skala 1 sampai dengan 10, berapa kalikah kau mengatakan cinta kepadaku, di dalam kepalamu itu, setiap jengkal tiga puluh menit, dalam satu hari?

Jadi, beritahu aku, dalam skala 1 sampai dengan 10, apakah kau memikirkan hal yang sama, seperti yang kupikirkan, setiap jengkal tiga puluh menit, hari ini?

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