She was fell from the cliff, sunk in ocean, and blew away by winds

Long, long time ago, even the wind has already forgotten. She loved a man. A jerk one that she walked through years with. She gave him everything and he pushed her off the cliff. She lost her best friend, her soul mate, her smile, her laugh, her everything. She knew it sound exaggerated. She could hardly breathe thus she made a choice among her gloomy desperate days. She had to live, whatever it takes, no matter how much time until she reached a point. And yeah, she tried her best. But she changed. She was no longer weak, she built a tall tight wall surrounding her. Betrayed by the one she gave her life made her stronger in any possible way. She was happy at least, though she felt empty inside every now and then. Until one day, she realized she was truly happy, lived. She continued her life gratefully. Yet like a ghost, memories often came and assaulted her guard. It was not like no other men flirted with her, or she tried to fell into another man. She just could not. Even there was a time she fell pretty hard, she was forgotten by the man. And it was not like she still had a feeling for that jerk one. It was just memories that attacked. Or something else, she hoped for free so hardly. If only she can just eat apples and collapsed to death, or something that can erase her memories. But she knew no one can. And some day, there was a guy. She was not so close with, she barely knew that man. One day he asked her for a walk. It could not be considered as a date though, and she was fell. Again. Nearly hard this time. But she knew she should not expect anything. She had fallen for many times. He might not see her as the one he would love. But she wished for a yes. He might not have interest to spend the days with her. But she wished for a yes. There were still many possibilities since no one can know another feeling. But she wished she was. She needed someone to spends her life with. A whole of the rest days she had. But some said to fall in love when you are ready, not when you are lonely. And when that day will come. Oh jerk, what you have done to her. To her life.

Been a while, Hai :D

Kamu tahu? Aku sedikit cinta hari ini
Meski ujian nggak berjalan selancar yang kukira
Meski hari ini aku nggak ketemu dia
Meski laptop harus kuservis sampai besok
Meski tugas menumpuk menunggu diselesaikan
Dan semuanya nyaris. Nyaris
Menguap karena kuning langit senja menyentuh atap rumah
Meski bukan semburat merah apel favoritku
Atau langit yang berwarna ungu tua
Menguap karena hari ini awan sembunyi dan bintang-bintang tak lagi ansos
Dan bulan yang tertawa
Meski langit ungu kelabu, meski bukan nila atau biru dongker
Meski jemuran belum juga diangkat sejak kemarin lusa
Meski hari ini tabungan lagi-lagi berkurang
Meski hari ini juga mulut tak lagi mendapat kesempatan buat mengecap smoothies walls buavita
Tapi aku bersyukur masih diberi kesempatan mencicipi embun pagi tadi, mocha float kfc, dan kehidupan.
Dan sms ibu dan bapak.

Really

"Leave my door open just a crack
Please take me away from here
'Cause I feel like such an insomniac
Please take me away from here
Why do I tire of counting sheep?
Please take me away from here
When I'm far too tired to fall asleep" - Fireflies, owl city

Nope, just tired with... everything.
If life is about choices, am I choose it right? Can I just choose nothing? And lead a life like I have the whole world, in my own palm? Living a life with my own way? Is there any possibility? Can I just skip this straight away? Please?

What and If. If you put those words next to each other, it will haunted you for the rest of your life. Really.

Can I just eat apple and collapsed to sleep? I might be dreaming of better thing. Could it be?

And don't wake me up. Let me drown.